April 2, 2010

Don’t Buy an iPad

Killjoy McShitsoneverything is right, you definitely shouldn’t buy an iPad.

First-generation Apple products always suck. Like those original Titanium PowerBook G4s? Holy crap were those things… well, come to think of it, they were pretty thin and fast. And had pretty amazing displays. But what about those first-generation iPhones? What a waste of money that was?! Amiright? I mean they didn’t even have copy/paste! But… I guess it did have that insane mobile browser which even then was still nicer than any other browser I’ve ever used on a phone since. And visual voicemail. And that ridiculously nice maps app. And I suppose, yes, it redefined an entire industry’s expectations about what consumers wanted in a mobile phone. But, yeah, no copy/paste.

And don’t forget this! There’s just going to be a better one next year. So all you have to do to outsmart all those moron zombies out there is simply wait, for 365 days, ignoring all the amazing software and flowery news stories that come out (which, let’s face it, are probably being written by those same moron zombies, there are a lot of them), and wait and wait and wait until finally there’s a version with a camera, a slightly faster processor and a little bit more storage and then finally you can… Wait! Wait a second. Come to think of it, there’s probably going to be an even better iPad the year after that… New plan!

So yes, don’t buy an iPad. If you’re thinking about how cool it might be to get one but you’re worried about how it’s the first generation or how there might be a better one next year, waiting is definitely the smart move.

Plus, more for me. ;)

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