August 8, 2012

Samsung

Samsung SPH-N200

The last cell phone I used before the iPhone came out was the Samsung SPH-N200. I really liked this phone. You could make phone calls on it…

Alright, that was pretty much it, but it made those phone calls like they were going out of style. (Which, let’s face it, they were.) And you know what? This was a good-looking phone. It felt right. I had the silver one. But try finding a decent-looking photo of the silver version of some 10-year-old Samsung flip-phone. Yeah.

The only unpleasant aspect of this phone was Sprint’s unrelenting, Kafka-esque campaign of overcharging me for things I never bought and services I never used. I’m pretty easy going about most things, but I’m taking my hatred of Sprint to the grave. To. The. Grave. I can’t imagine why anyone would pay them for anything. If you’re one of their customers today, your brain must be a third the size of the rest of us. It’s science.

What was I talking about? Yes, this phone. This, to me, is a Samsung phone. If I were the judge in the case of Apple vs. Stealy McStealsalot, I’d sentence them to making this phone.

Forever.

They can make it better of course, give it a high-resolution color screen, make the part that flips more fliptastic… but a multi-touch display? Nope. In fact, if you touch the screen it should give you a mild electric shock. Apps? Nah. The apps it comes with should slowly disappear from the phone over time. 4G? Forget it. Try 1G.

That, my friends, would be justice.