May 16, 2003

I Can See!

I just picked up my first new pair of glasses in three years or so. They will replace the pair I had to get when the prior frames went plunging into Spring Lake along with me and Art during an incident of staggering stupidity on my part. But this isn’t about me almost sending my younger brother and I to a watery grave on Father’s Day. No dear readers, it’s about my new and improved vision vis-à-vis my fancy new insurance-funded glasses.

The lenses are more squarish and therefore less round than the old ones. They’re also a bit smaller but still big enough that the frames aren’t noticeable in my field of vision. The lenses are also very light and the arms of the frames (are they called arms?) are longer and seem sturdier. Of course, they’re also very nice because I can once again see a lot farther. All-in-all, very happy with them so far.

By the way, here’re a couple tips if you ever find yourself falling out of a canoe with one of your siblings. 1: Make sure the other one is okay. (Did that.) 2: Hold on to the boat to save your energy. (Did that.) 3: Don’t try to flip the boat back over if you don’t know how. (Spent too much energy trying to do that.) 4: Don’t try to swim with the boat to the shore even if you’re fairly close. (Spent too much energy trying to do that too.) 5: When the rescue boat comes make sure they get the sibling first. (Did that.) 6: When they come to get you don’t overfocus on keeping your wallet dry. (Just help them get you out of the water before you sink.) 7: Don’t ogle the attractive lifeguard who saves you. (Art did that.)

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