May 19, 2003

The Sneezening

It came in the night, without warning. As invisible as it is sinister, it crept into our home, into our yard, into our neighborhood… everywhere. One day there were no sniffles, no sneezing, no pollen. Everything was good. Defenses were in place. We had no fear. But then, suddenly…

All hell broke loose in my nose.

Reinforcements were called in. I laughed at my runny nose’s imminent demise as I popped a Claritin tablet into my mouth and chuckled as I washed it down. This year I was ready for the bastards. Then, shockingly, the worst thing imaginable happened. Within an hour I knew I was doomed.

The Claritin had no effect.

I sneezed, I blew my nose, I sneezed, I closed the door, I sneezed, I washed my face, I sneezed, I dared not set foot outdoors, I sneezed, I sneezed, I sneezed. Finally, there were a few respites from the onslaught which, while brief, provided me with enough mental clarity to realize that I’ll be needing an air cleaner and better, more powerful, drugs.

Suggestions on either would be appreciated.