November 13, 2003

The iWalt Music Store

I just wanted to announce that along with Napster, Dell, Microsoft, Amazon, Sony, RealNetworks, Comcast, Wal-Mart and the hundred thousand or so other dumb-ass companies who plan to become rich by ripping off the iTunes Music Store, this humble website plans to follow suit and compete in the digital music sales bonanza by following the current working theory regarding the copy-and-paste business model du jour. Specifically:

  1. Duplicate the iTunes Music Store.
  2. Rebrand and crapify.
  3. ???
  4. Profit!

We will, of course, be calling this the iWalt Music Store and it won’t feature any of that crap from “the big five” (which will shortly be known as “the big three” and then, we assume, “EvilMusicOmniCorp9000”) but rather albums which we have secured rights to distribute like “Walt Singing in the Shower” or “Walt Humming ‘Funky Town’ in the Car” or “Sounds of Walt Eating Sandwiches”. The tunes will, of course, cost a measly 99 cents (yes, even the 10 second tracks) and feature DRM (which only works with a player which I haven’t developed yet but the specs are incredible) for your protection. (You don’t want to be a music terrorist do you?) Do you?

Where was I? Yeah. It’s going to be great. You’ll love it. I’ll be rich.